Morally Grey Muffins
by Doctor Strangelove
Summary: Zach makes muffins, and he and Mr. Bennet have a heart to heart. Slash [ZachBennet]


"What is that? What are those? Are those muffins?"

Zach threw his backpack to the floor and carefully placed the tray in his hand on the counter next to Claire. "Yeah. They're muffins. We made them in class. I don't really want them, so I thought I'd bring 'em over. Maybe you'd want them." Zach shifted his weight uncomfortably before mumbling under his breath, "Or your dad." At Claire's outburst of laughter, Zach's normally easy-going visage changed into one of insult. "What?"

"You made my dad muffins?" Claire chuckled and shook her head, "That's just so very gay."

"Hey, we made them in Home Ec."

"That's not really helping your case."

Sliding into the chair next to Claire, Zach looked her in the eye and gave her his best Shut Up look. "We made them in Home Ec, and I didn't want them. My mom, always one to come in on the end of trendy fads, is just now starting Atkins, so I thought your family might want them. I didn't _make_ them for you dad."

Claire closed her textbook and gave Zach a patronizing pat on the shoulder, "Whatever you say. You don't have to defend yourself to me, Zach. As creepy as it is that you have a crush on my dad-"

Zach cut her off with loud shushing and a good deal of frantic arm waving. "Shut up. He could hear you."

"He's not even home."

"Still. _Someone _could hear you. I don't want people getting the wrong ideas. I don't have a crush on your dad."

"Really? Is that why you doodled 'Zach + Mr. Bennet' in the back of your chemistry notebook, or is there another Mr. Bennet in Odessa that I don't know about?"

Zach had no comeback to that argument, so instead of defending himself he merely hung his head in shame. "I'm so very wrong."

Claire stopped laughing and gave Zach a small smile. "Don't beat yourself up. Everyone gets strange crushes. Remember how hot I thought Brody was? Besides, as disturbing as it is that you have a crush on my father, the fact that you call him Mr. Bennet, like even when you're alone, is really cute."

A grin crossing his face, Zach playfully swatted at Claire with a rolled up sheet of homework.

"Do you even know his first name?" 

"It starts with a K or something, right?"

"Not even close."

The two teens fell into a bevy of laughter, so wrapped up in their own amusement that they didn't noticed they were no longer alone in the room. "What's so funny?"

"Oh, hi, Dad," Claire calmed herself down and gave her a father a tiny wave.

"Hi, Mr. Bennet," Zach gave his best pleasant-looking smile leaned forward to hiss a whisper in Claire's ear, "How long has he been there?"

A subtle shrug was his only answer as Claire herself wasn't entirely sure how much of their conversation her father had overheard. Hopefully not enough to make Zach's future visits to the Bennet household exceedingly awkward. "We were just talking about something that happened in school. You know how funny those manatees can be." Her father nodded slowly, which did nothing to ease Claire's concerns that he had overheard far more than he should have. She decided a change of subject to a more appealing topic was in order. "Hey, look, Zach made us all muffins. You love muffins."

Mr. Bennet didn't say anything, but his eyebrow did arch in a manner that revealed, if he didn't love them, he was at least intrigued by the prospect of muffins.

"Claire, honey, can you come out here and help me with these groceries!" Sandra Bennet's voice rang from outside, and with an apologetic shrug Claire nodded and left Zach alone in the kitchen with the object of his affection. Mr. Bennet's mere presence was enough to fill Zach with an uneasy sense of dread, as the man was able to exude an aura of confidence and power just by crossing arms. As he crossed the cramped kitchen and sat down in the seat that Claire had been occupying previously, Zach felt drops of sweat begin to form on the back of his neck.

"You and Claire have been spending a lot of time together recently," Mr. Bennet picked up a muffin and began to look it over absent-mindedly.

Zach waited for him to continue, but when no further statement came he offered up a meek head nod to keep the conversation going. He didn't like the idea of being interrogated by the man he had a crush on, but having him in such close proximity wasn't terrible either.

"Do you have any interest in my daughter on a more intimate level?" Mr. Bennet's gaze moved from the uneaten muffin in his hand to look Zach directly in the eye. He certainly wasn't the type of man to skirt uncomfortable conversation topics.

"No. I'm… She's not exactly my type." Zach felt beads of sweat drip into his eyes but was too nervous to actually move.

Mr. Bennet didn't break the eye contact between the two of them for a few moments before he removed his glasses and began to wipe them off with his shirt. "How old are you, Zachary?"

"I'm seventeen," Then as an afterthought he added, "Sir."

"Hmm. Legal."

Zach was certain his ears were playing tricks on him because there was just no way Claire's dad had just said what Zach thought he heard. It must've been something else. It _had _to be. Zach wanted to ask him to repeat his statement, but he found that his tongue no longer seemed to be listening to his brain. After some serious concentration, he managed to whisper out in a barely audible voice, "What was that, Mr. Bennet?"

"It's Noah," he said, replacing the glasses on his head and taking a large bite out of the baked good in his hand. Noah Bennet smiled and gave Zach a friendly pat on the shoulder as he stood up to leave the room. "Really good muffins, Zach."

As her father left the kitchen, Claire entered, bags of groceries filling her arms. "Sorry for having to leave you with my dad like that. What did you two talk about?"

Still not entirely sure himself, Zach gave a half-hearted shrug, "Muffins."


End file.
